PEOPLE OF MY YEAR 2011 (11 of 2011)

As tradition to my blog, i am proud to present you the people that makes my life happy, and, challenging this year. This year has been great really, much of ups and downs, many people have touched my life so deeply that i need to give them this. And because we all know that my family and hazel are always the people of my year 2011, i have exempted them :)


11. BOUNCING BABY

this year, my new prince was born on June 20, 2011, and He is Non- other than Chris Juliuz Baybayan. He is, indeed, the first baby boy in the family. I just wished he could spend more time with me, cause i want to see him grow as what is usual to my other nieces.

10. CHALLENGES
yes, please welcome my old acquaint Mr. DONDEE SALVADOR. Early this year i have a huge grudge with him for a reason which is very petty.I understand that i was the first one to post negatively  in face book and it was very unprofessional of me.. I was just pissed off that time, then I know without beings said, His post was all about me.
It was then when our superiors called me and scolded me as if i am their own child, i felt love and accepted. I stop posting then.What i learned from this thing is that, as professionals, we should act professionally, and i learned to compromise. I knew i have mistaken to act that way, but when i realized i was wrong, i was sorry and tell him right away., Sir dondee, Thank you for keeping a professional friendship with me, i really do appreciate it.

and just as the year ends, my neighbors and I had a huge argument, about.. hmmm... i really don't know. So they were also a part of my people of my Year. It wasn't easy handling this, but after a enourmous and mean post on FB targeting my sister-in-law, I thought then that enough is enough. After the gigantic FB fight, we still have not spoken up until now. i don't know if we will ever be. lets just say that at least now, We learn to set boundaries on what extent should a neighbor care.

9. MY DOWNLINES
 This year i entered a Networking business and I can say i am a little blessed, but this is not possible without my downlines.

HEIDI SAJOR, FRENA TORBELA, BRYAN OLIMPO, JHONG ORDINARIO
Heidi, I know we didn't know each other that well, thank you for trusting me and for believing in me.
Frena, The first person in the hospital who believed that the business is authentic. Keep the fire burning. :) and then Bryan, and then our Eagle, Jhong Ordinario who opened a 4 accounts this year. Still making it to 16 accounts. This man will  be successful, I am sure :)

8. OLD BUT NEW FRIENDS TO KEEP

KATRINA MARQUEZ. She has been volunteering since March of 2010 and having seen her working, I believe this person will be a great addition to the workforce, but on the July of 2011, there was a volunteer lay off and she was evicted. Luckily and with persistence, She applied directly to the Lingayen HR and was hired as a staff Nurse. I was very delighted when i saw her name in the pay roll. i even text her right away. Why was she in my list? First, when i thought all people hated me because of the FB thing about a co-worker, She chose to hang with me and listened to my explanation. Remember that inah? Ung first na nag shot kayo sa bahay?  and she was my first visitor on my 24the birthday party. Thanks Inah. It was nice working with you. Keep up the Good work.

Carizza Solis. Mangilan-ngilan lang talaga ako mapalagay sa isang babae, and mangilan ngilan lang ako nag aapreciate ng work, pero itong batang ito, Grabe, Idol. Nag umpisa ang pag hanga ko sa kanya nung merong tinanong ang aming bossing at sa kabila ng kaba at takot, She spoke confidently and straight forward, that's a plus factor for me. I know that if i have her in my area, everything will be just fine :)

Ann Michelle Dulay. Ahay, ang lakas mo uminom. haha Seriously thank you, you were on my list since my birthday but the text you sent me just a day ago was really heart warming and it reminds me, i didn't pray for a while. Thanks Michelle. Shot tan!

Jimmy Ignacio- People was really intimidated when he arrived in the hospital. I wasn't. Why? i didn't care. hehe Pero totoo naman, kung hindi sya nag gogood morning sa akin, bakit ako mag gogood morning sa kanya. Ganun lang yun. pero seriously, napakabait ng taong to. He may speak frankly and aggressively but what i learned from him is to never judge a book by it's cover..He is a lot more of what we see..

7.  ADVISER


Ms. Laila Abalos. My mentor. I believe half of my skills was withdrawn from her. She taught me everything i need to know and I'm glad that she was at my side all through out this year. you deserve all the praises. Bow po ako sa inyo.












WORK FRIENDS!!!

6. HERLENE B. TOLENTIN

This year, i have a chance to go on a medical mission with this young lady. I remembered i joked her, "Siguro sa susunod, Ikaw na ang staff" and she were. I also watched this lady grow professionally, and thank you also for acknowledging my contributions to your Nursing skills.






5. ANA MARGARITA ROMATAN.

Nilagay ko lang sya kasi  pinipilit nya ako. Wala naman talagang nagawa ito sa akin this year. Panay pahirap lang naman ginawa nya. ang Toxic nya kasama sa duty.

-Joke lang. :)

I appreciate her willingness to help me after i got the news na balik sa hati hati ang sweldo. I joked her "Tara sa Manila, mag apply na tayo", she nod, and yun na nga nagpunta kami sa Manila. Nakakatuwa pa kasi ayaw naman nya mag abroad pero nakikisama sya mag pass ng application. Thank you Ana. kasi kahit papano nabawasan ang hinanakit ko sa mundo nun. Thank God i have someone to share my hatred with that time hahaha







MORE LIKE A BROTHER OR SISTER
4. SARAH JANE OBELLO

My friend's girlfriend. I didn't expect we would be this close as we could be. I rooted fro her since the first day she and geeson were official. Kept fighting for her for my friend.This year, i appreciate her support to us. It's nice sharing thoughts with great people like her. Thank you for loving Geeson friendship. And till next year, wag nyo ko iiwan kasi kailan ko kayo. :)



3. RUTH VALDEZ.

 
It's fun to think that there are people in the world that even if you don't see them often, in just one text everything seems alright. I'm so glad i have my girl best friend. When i got the news of my "half/half" salary, i texted her right away and when i visit her, There was a TERAMISU. if it wasn't for me at all, i dont care, but that really help me cooled up.When i told her that my girlfriend is going abroad, She sent me chocolates in the hospital to make me feel good.  I'm so glad to have her every time i need her.. couldn't ask for more. Love you!













2. UPLINE

RONEL SIBAYAN. Kakilala ko na ito dati pa since highschool. I have imaged him on my mind as "mayabang" but being reunited again for a long time made me realize that he wasn't that of what i think of him after all. He was down to earth, low-profiled, and very hilarious. Thanks Ups. for helping me change my mind setting about how money works. I can't believe I'll say this but i really learn much from you. I may not be as successful as you are right now, but i know in time and with your help, I will be. :)






DRUM ROLL PLEASE.......


1. GEESON LED PACADA.

i never thought we coud have been this close. Mula Amway, hangang Royale. Thanks Pare. When i felt everyone forgot about me, you were there. Nagpapalakas ng loob ko. Lagi kang andyan pag tinetext kita. Maraming salamat kahit papano eh may kwenta ka na din sa buhay ko. joke lang. haha Pero seryoso pare, Matagal na siguro ako nag Quit sa Royale kung hindi mo lang ako pinipilit lagi. Number one kang kaibigan dre. Salamat.


That concludes  the wonderful people of my year 2011. My year was Ups and Downs. But being said that, It was fun, realizing and learning differently. Thanks to you!

Different Things You think You Knew About Me, But Don't. :)

As a person, i kept myself open for everyone (and this blog site surely proves how open i am, lol). Many people say they knew me, from head to toe, but there are things they think they knew about me, but actually didn't. Let's try a quiz, comment if how much you've scored. I will write some weird things about me and count one if you knew or shared it with you. GAME..

1. I'm Claustrophobic. I don't want being in a closed space where air can't pass thru. I don't like in between two people. I don't like being hug so tight for a long time, i think i can't breathe. the reason why i love sitting in front seats, or in the edge of the backseat.

2. I declared of my thought having allergies to sea foods cause i felt having allergies was kinda cool until it did happen that whenever i eat squid, or shrimp, or crabs, it makes my lips swell, and my throat itch. It's funny cause when i eat Prawns, Lobsters, and Octopus, i don't get those itchiness. Guess i was just allergic to small sea foods.lol

3. When I'm cooking and I am alone, I start talking as if I have my own Cooking Show :)

4. I'm not afraid of Amphibians, but thinking in contact with them makes me freak out. It happened after biology class wherein we need to hold a Bullfrog for 3 minutes and i can still feel the skin of the frog. Yuck. i just had goosebumps.

5. Growing up, i have had a huge crush with Anne Hathaway.

6. After watching a recent episode of Kapuso mo, Jessica Sojo where a kid was attacked by a cobra in the woods,  I get paranoid. whenever i will be in place where there are grasses or trees, i always think that cobra is somewhere there and kept thinking if an anti-venom available in Sacred heart.

7. Way back in Elementary, i didn't like being nominated as Mayor, Vice Mayor,cause i want them to nominate me as the "Adonis".. haha That, never happened.

8. I really wanted to be a Broadcast Journalist but didn't pursue cause in my senior year in high school i gained weight, and pimples started coming out. i felt ugly.

9. I know i sing well, but i don't have the confidence of being in front of the stage singing. It started when i was in high school where i represented my class for a VOCAL SOLO, they gave me the piece, but since we don't have any Karaoke then, i didn't have much practice, then when it's time for the competition, i was blank, any my lyrics was mumbling and dribbling. It was very embarrassing. until then, i have troubles memorizing lyrics.

10. I don't have a sense of direction, that is even if i was been in that place, i still have the tendency to get lost.

11. I created my Twitter Account to Screw different Artist. I stopped criticizing them since my friends knew about my account and followed me :)

12. I removed all my clothes when i defecate.

13. the name i gave to my dissected frog in high school was "the long lost bone of BONIFACIO".

See how much you get! PM me :)

NUMB

My girlfriend is having her contract signing to work as a Nurse in Jordan as of this very moment that i am typing. Honestly, I don't know what exactly should i feel. I am happy for her, because of millions of applicants, she was chosen, but i am really really... i don't know.. sad maybe? I've planned the rest of the year and to have something  that wasn't included, it was really hard to adjust. Ok. I admit. I don't know if i will function well without her. She will be miles away by then. I can't watch a cinema alone, shop alone, dine alone. I cant go anywhere without her. I will surely miss her. :( In 5 years this will be the longest time that we will be apart. She haven't gone yet, but thinking of it make me sick. I have love doing things with her. but i am happy, really. At least in Jordan, her work will be paid well.

I just don't know what to feel. I ain't feeling anything right now. I just hope everything will be fine..

24. Full. Great. Exciting. Unnamed. Thank You.,

I've received a tremendous birthday greetings and i never felt loved so much than that. I can't promise i could thank everybody but i know you know guys how delighted i am of having you. The best feeling in life is knowing people love you and accepts who you are. I didn't know what i did to deserved all of this, but i am thankful of you guys.

I am grateful having a family, not perfect, but true. I am so grateful having my Super Mom who always ready to support us in any way that she can. Sometimes she have decisions that i couldn't understand, maybe because i'm not yet a family man,but clearly all her decisions are made out of love for us. With the aid of my SuperATE, I know that my mom couldn't make it without her, and so am i. one fourth of my being is from her. I hope she will never get tired of helping us. My Dad is not perfect, he commits mistakes sometimes not bearable, but i love him and even if he's not saying a word, He loves me as much as i love him.My brothers,whom i seldom see, have their own families but we never forget to keep in touch. and my baby sister, for helping me in my business, for being obedient, and loving.. The world for me is not perfect without you.

Having many friends is great but NUMBER doesn't always count. To my Girl BFF for 11 years and counting, I know you tried to uplift all my feelings and passion when i was down, and guess what, the tiramisu and the coke really helped. I'm so glad i have someone to be with in times when everything seems impossible and everything is dark or gray. Just being there and hearing my heartaches makes you the best listener ever, from the bottom of my heart, i love you. To my Guy BFF, for helping me fix my birthday party. The party wasn't just mine, it was yours too. There was never  dull moments with you..

To bez, for the tables and the chairs, to bud and his girlfriend, for dropping by even if i know you have gimmick that night with other friends, to my uncle danny for fixing the shed, to my Guy BFF's girlfriend, to you as well, thanks for the pizza, great gift. Thank you for loving my friend. To Bi and his Boyfriend, Thank you for sharing great stories with me. To my other high school friends who attended my first part birthday celebration,To Bok and his girlfriend , Thank you guys. And definitely, My UPLINE and His wife, Thank You for giving me the opportunity than  most men missed to grab. Thank you, not for the money but for changing my mind setting about things in life. the money our business have given me is a bonus, But you are the Price, and you are priceless :)

Working in the hospital i have gained many friends, co-workers, colleagues, volunteers. To those who attended my birthday 2nd part party, thank you guys, some came from duty still managed to drop by. Thank you everyone who greeted me thru text. I felt the sincerity of your greetings. I have loved working with you guys. Thank You so much. But there are three text that actually moved me, One, was that of my mother of my profession, My mentor, my critique, my Mami dear. Thank you for doing everything for me. I couldn't have been hired without your help. I'm sorry if i have disappointed you in some ways, i am trying to be as good as you always say. second is from a FREAK, and the way she texted, i felt i have a sister in her. and lastly that of Macaranas. I thought they have forgotten.


and obviously, My whole human being is dedicated to my Babe. Thank You for the watch i know it was expensive and i hate it when you buy things for me, but thank you, i appreciate. half of the gastos on my birthday is from you. Thank you for loving my friends, and for loving my family. Always remember that i will be with you forever and i will always protect you no matter what.

Love is too short to waste. Let's all Live life to the fullest. Thank you, Yes, I am Xander, I am 24. and I am happy :)

Freaky stories. NIGHT CREATURES

One time late night of duty, the volunteers and i have some chit-chat about ghosts, night creatures, aswang at lamang lupa. Some stories where freaky, some was "I've heard that already". This kind of conversation flew me back when i was in grade schools when we spend the all saints day in our barrio in Manaoag. It was typical sitting down with cousins watching "Magandang Gabi Bayan" as they were showing their halloween specials. tapos mag bro-brown-out. We listen to freaky stories of our grandmother and aunt. I don't know if i would believe it at first, but when my Mom told me it was all true, i started believing that there are some things in life that science could not explain. I have some stories heard from different people, I am not telling you to believe this, but there's no harm in trying :p

DWENDE- according to the Philippine Myth, These are little creature that can give humans good,but oftentimes, bad fate. They lived in a NUNO (termite hill) and we often times say "tabi tabi po" to excuse us if we have disturbed them. They are basically practical jokers as they love seeing people becoming idiot.

I remembered one of my aunt who had many experiences with duwende. She was teenager then when a dwende courted her, She described it a small person, the face is vey much good looking, no mustache as we often imagine, with a great body. She said He just wore a white sleeves and a white pants. No long ears.He's like a normal features of a Man, only smaller than usual. My Lolo, according to her, Spotted her laughing and looking outside of the window. When the dwende heard my lolo's voice, It disappears. One time, My Aunt was invited to their home. She entered in a termite hill and suddenly she was of their height. It was like a palace, according to her, white everywhere. there was a long table full of fruits, and food. The Dwende told her to stay, then she heard my lolo shouting out her name. "I can't" she answered. The dwende insisted, but my aunt refused. She told me She saw the Dwende talking with an older dwende as if they were arguing. My aunt beg, "please. please".The Dwende allowed her. "can i have this banana for my father" she said. Then my grandpop saw my aunt, sleeping beside the termite hill. My lolo screamed at her, and my aunt answered, "i went inside of this (pointing at NUNO), and i got you this (supposed banana)". It was a dried wood. My Aunt was grounded then. 

She thought that her experience with lamang lupa's ended there. One dawn morning at her 20's, She was obliged to cook rice for everyone as she was the eldest. She heard a "kaluskos" behind the window. To her curiosity she peek at a small hole.She said he saw a Man, with gold hair, white skin, bare naked on top, with perfect chest and abs, thick eyebrow "PERFECT" as she described. She was shocked that she withdraws peeking. In a few minutes, she went back to peek then she saw the man ran way, only that the half body was that of a horse. 

Then she got married and was pregnant with her first child. She was laboring when she saw a hand on the window,, when finally the baby expelled, She saw the hand elongating and grab my cousin, my aunt grabbed her baby too and they were dragging to get the baby, when the comadrona went back the hand disappeared. My cousin was very pretty and with a skin as white as a snow.

on her 3 months as a mother she didn't experience any other manifestations of lamang lupa, until one day. She left her baby in a "duyan" to finish her labahan. after doing the laundry she went back and to her surprise the baby was gone. she looked everywhere and she was crying cause she was hopeless.. then she heard a loud cry directing maybe 50 meters away.. she went near that cry and she saw her baby, do you know where? In the middle of the bamboo sticks.. freaky huh?

She has many stories of her being the maybe "center of attention" of the dwende. Recently at home, She was about to go to the CR when my cousin Gem, alleged run towards the CR and closed the door. My aunt was shouting "Ano ginagawa mo dyan, ang tagal mo naiihi na ko", she said my cousin answered " Wait lang".. so she wait, then she heard a voice behind her asking "anti anong ulam" and it was my cousin Gem , the "supposed" person that was in the CR.

it was really freaky when my aunt told me this cause you cannot see any signs of lie. I also have one story of a lamang lupa. It was late night when i went home from an inuman. before you reach our home kasi dadaan ka sa isang bakanteng lote na merong malaking malaking puno ng lomboy. So i was walking, i thought someone stoned me. I stared at the stone closely and it was a heated charcoal. i thought someone was grilling, i realized it was late night, i didn't look at the tree i ran so fast. I didn't remember that happened up until when the tree was cut last March. My neighbors were talking about hearing a hard steps on their roof, that technically, my other neighbors also heard. Then they made an explanation that maybe the kapre was looking for another tree to stay. freak. 

Sabi ko nga, I don't care if you believe this. basta ako, i do. well, tune in next week i will write goes stories i heard that made me sleepless and still making me have goose bumps up until now. :)

STOP.. LOOK.. LISTEN...

it was not a secret that, hell yeah, i bought my new yamaha mio soul scooter last month. Since then, i didn't know  how to commute :) Joke lang haha I was driving motorcycles from the past, rides of my brother, sister, friends, and i was really a lousy, reckless driver.I always wished to have a motorcycle. and at last, i got one. It wasn't cash but at least i have something to remind me where the heck my salary goes. i had risk getting this knowing i was a contractual, but hey! I am  in a potential business and i know in time, i will pay this, cash.
The thing about driving your own ride is you learn different things. first on the line; I never cared of the oil price increase before.. but know, OMG. ang mahal ng gas.. a single peso is worth it. Roll back please!!

As a pedestrian, I used to cross roads anywhere.. basta free way.,. Now i don't. Many people are crossing anywhere that some drivers cant held back or can't break so sudden, the reason why many were caught in an accident, Kids, more often that not., those who are texting while crossing the road. We have pedestrian lanes, let's use that. Stop, look and listen before you cross.
Furthermore, Some Tricycle drivers are reckless. They make "singit" as often as they could.. They stop very sudden without signals. grrrr.  Im not a perfect driver i know. I have troubles with parking in a narrow areas, I have problems on reversing. but at least i am safe.

for the woman i love since birth :)

Remember what i said before that many people believe that their Mom is the greatest. Well i still wont argue with that. Our mother, for me, is my standards when choosing a girl i will share my life with. Witty, Brave, Beautiful. (I guess I'm fix with that *wink*). I understand how hurtful it was to leave us, It was hurtful for me too..thank you for doing it so, for if it wasn't for you we couldn't have finish schooling.

People may have the best cars in the world, Best cellphones, gadgets, but having a mother like you is priceless. When people are beating us down, You carried us all the way through up, where all the glory is ours, and all the strains are yours. When the time comes i will build my own family, I will raise them the way you have raised us. What i wish now, is that to be with you forever, no limits, no time frames. I Love you.

Mama, Thank you.. You may not be perfect, but thank you for loving us perfectly.You may be far 
away from us, but in my heart you are here. I am everything, but it was all because of you. Happy mothers day to the best Mom in the world. This is the only gift i can give you yet. :)

Beyond The Surface

For the last month i have been stressed for so many reasons -familial drama, working loads and burdens, and some mild arguments where in the first place would've never happen if i didn't start. but through this things, I can say that i see life differently, i see these experience as a retreat on how to handle things i could've just suck it down to my throat, but still being preserved and modest.

Some people really might pissed you off but it is up to you on how you handle this things. Not all people will like you, Not every people will help you go up, Some people will do whatever it takes to take you down, but if you stood up and believe in yourself, You can look at them and tell them "hey, whatever you say, i still made it". i learned this just recenlty, but i remembered learning this from years now. I may have forgotten this lesson since all of my life i was being drag down. This time, i will always keep this lesson, that we are the captain of the ships and whatever waves and disasters come along our way, it is our prerogative to do whatever is best for the ship, not what is the best for us.

according to the world renowned fashion photographer,now turned an anecdotal writer, Nigel Barker, "beauty is far-off from what meets the eye". I second demotion. Beauty doesn't only mean having a fair skin and having a good facial features, but it is what is inside of us. The reason why i was stating this is that, i don't have a beautiful physical features, but i am beautiful, fiercely real inside that it hurts me so bad that people is judging me for doing things i didnt do just because i was stereotyped. That people can blame me for anything just because i am capable of doing that. I can, but i wont.

I was molded well by the love given by my family. My family aint perfect, who does? but whatever life had given my family, was an opportunity for us to grow as a better person and a better human being. the reason why i held up all the things i could do to fight back. i kept quiet, cause i was raised in a family, not very descent, but preserved, mid-sophisticated, and non-violent. i am a registered nurse making me a professional so i should handle things in a professional ways. My family also taught me how to value friendship. And as long as i can remember, every one person i exchange with thoughts and experience is my friend.

I never looked down to any people because i know how it feels like to become a minority, like people dont actually see you, instead i inspire them to strive harder and work harder so that they can achieve whatever they want in life. today, as of this moment, i have great family, True friends, a perfect job i dreamed of, there are no reasons for me to ridicule, there are no reasons for me to get envy. i was never envious about anything in life, but if given the chance of switching life with, i will choose someone who's powerful and superior like Ferdinand Marcos.

I have heard many words against me, some torturing, and some are old school. I never break down cause i was almost complete, I have my girlfriend who the same way became calm but strong with me, My Real life friends who knows me and loved me even from my worst, my workplace friends who stood up with me and stayed with me when i thought everyone believes i have an attitude.I came in to a realization that anyperson can hurt you so bad, be it your bestfriend, your girldfriend, your friend since childhood. but the most heart crashing was being misunderstood and judged abruptly. Many people looked at me differently after this dillema but thanks to those who still believes in me that this is not the "kind of me"

That experience taught me that if there's no one else, look inside yourself. I still believe that whatever they've said to hurt me wasn't their primary intention. with all humilty, I never said anything negative to screw people's lives. Indeed, i criticize, and evaluates, sometimes disparages.. but that's just it. Nothing more to affect any decisions made.

I am still the same person you thought to be. A friend...

SHUT ME UP PLEASE

It has been my style of stressing out my opinions about everything i am asked for. I almost have opinion about everything. I sometimes manipulate things by expressing my thoughts and uttering my intellect. but indeed, many people misinterpret me.. as always, as expected. I have been caught in so much troubles because of my words. Yeah, ME and my big mouth ass they say. I really tried my best to shut up, i really just can't. When people tries to stop me expressing my ideas, i feel very very weak, since for ME expressing  my ideas is a way of expressing how good, how intelligent, or how lovable i am, and will be. But it wasn't good every time.

I used speaking up my mind as way of expressing my anxiety. Yes, i feel relieve when I'm talking. But sometimes i realize that it, yeah, it may have relieved me from anxiety but it is different to others, it caused to them something. i have been in troubles because of my mouth,here are the examples:

1. i told a friend that she has been cursed by my male friend. I thought it was nothing, but the real thing is that she was very sensitive about "F.U's" and "P.I"s. and that she went straight to that friend of mine and they had a rift, and also that male friend and i had a gap afterwards.
2. I was expressing so much about the one i hate in the work place, that is when i found out that the one i am expressing about that person, is her/his friend.
3. Nung tinanong ako ng kaibigan ko kung yung lalaki ba na yun eh naging sila ng girlfriend nya ngayon, I said yes, and insisted by saying "halata naman eh". They've been fighting since then about that. i felt guilty but i didn't know she was lying to him.
4.When a co-worker told me about the past argument they had with the co-worker, and i started teasing her when they have worked together again in a long time, i was very guilty and that i even dreamt about it.
5. When what i said has been used against me, that it made me more anxious.
6. And now the latest, when people asked me who i thought will be the next contractual nurse, that was a question i answered frankly, and people thought that this things were true.it was just ideas, but i told them it was just my personal choices.

A person who i respected so much said "you and your big mouth". It was in a way, that i know, was a joke, but it hit me so much to realize that, "hello, here i am again, killing myself because of my thoughts". personally i did this things to mislead people.. But the moment i heard those words made me think and said "i will stop" and that expressing my thought should just be to myself. It really leads into malicious beliefs, i didn't intend it, it just came right after.

It kept on thinking about that however. i think someone is spreading the news that i am spreading something which is totally untrue to make me unlikable, or to make me be "the bad person".. it's just so sad that some people may have been very desperate to destroy me. They didn't think that the more they try to destroy me, the more i become powerful :)

If what i said have hurt people, I am sorry. i wont do it again. but what i can assure you is that i don't initiate everything, i was asked, i just answered. I may have been a talkative jerk, but i still keep secrets. 

ANG TAGAL NAMAN NG APRIL 18

MY Fair Lady. Papu's girl. all grown- up.

I remember the first time i saw you, i told myself, you are Our baby. I didn't believe the "lukso ng dugo" works but there was a magic when i saw you, now I'm a believer.

i remember the day you were born, your lolo won bingo wherein he won almost a hundred thousand and believed that you were his lucky charm.

I remember the time your father told me your name and i wasn't thrilled cause i expected it already.

I remember when you were 5 months, i presented to took care of you and your parents never hired a nanny for you.

I remember i needed to sing you a lullaby for you to fall asleep even if my throats hurts, and my voice sucks.

I remember the day when i was devastated and crying over a girl, you were hugging me and swept my tears. i wondered if you knew what i was going through.

I remember when i need to take advantage of the time you were asleep to sweep the floor and cook our food.

I remember the time you were crying and i need to make a milk for you but i was frying, i did both things spontaneously and ended up crying too.

I remember the first time you had a fever, it was after a day you went to Dagupan, i was really mad at your parents cause you never had fever with me.

I remember when i went out with my friends, and i left you with your lolo, I was really thinking about you all the time that i went home just to check you. 

I remember when i went to look for a job, because i was really tired of our routine activities, I missed it and wished that we can be together again. 

I remember the first birthday of yours, when i insisted we will butcher a pig for you, I'm so glad your parents listened. You were the first baby anyway, why not be luxurious.

I remember your first birthday, I was the one very busy preparing and doing the games. It was exhausting. i also payed for your balloons.

I remember again, it was your first birthday, i was the one opening gifts with you. 

I remember the first time you said "papu", i was very delighted.

I remember when you were first confined in the hospital, it was the time when i went back to school and again blaming your parents they aren't taking care of you. shame on me, but hypocrisy is ugly. 

I remember your second birthday, i was the one holding you to blow the candle, and again, did the parlor games.

I remember when i first introduced you to your tita hazel, you called me Papu, and she was surprised cause i haven't told her about you. she might thought you were my own child.

I remember when YANYAN was born, I am excited to hold your sister but they were all busy with her and i don't want you to get jealous so i held you up instead of her.

I remember the gift you always ask me, a make-up kit, and it always brings the smile on your face. 

I remember when your about to go to school, I bought you your first lunch box. 

I remember the first day of you going to school, i was with you. I even coached you how to introduce your name in front of the class, you were very shy, but when you started speaking, I was really very proud.

I Remember your first exam, i was the one tutored you and you almost got perfect.

i remember watching you on your first cheerdance competition and it made me cry.

I remember watching you receiving your second honor award, i was proud as much as your dad. 

I remember when i teased you i will be leaving you and i'll get marry, you were crying like hell.

I remember when your mom left, you were crying, i carried you and promised you not to go abroad, then you stopped. 

I remember when i always raised my voice, you always follow what i say.

Now your almost a grown-up. and as much as i hate to see it, yeah, you are now, a lady. I yell at you when you put your make up on but it reflects on me cause i was the one who gave you that thing. Maybe I'm just afraid, that you grow-up so soon that you will forget about me.

Now, you might. cause your leaving the house. i am the happiest that you have your new house.. It is a turning point to your parent's lives, as they grow-up, too. but i am scared to death, I am scared no one will watch over you as often as we used to be. No one will remind you to brush your teeth and take a shower cause your lola forgets, sometimes.I am scared, because I will miss you :( seriously. I was used of waking up and forcing you to eat your breakfast. Checking your journal and daily activities. bathing you even if your hot and your lola will get angry. Yelling at you when you don't listen. Yes, we will still see each other but not as everyday. :( I am sad thinking about leaving me.  

I loved you so much that i don't want you to go. But baby, it's a realization, we can't be together forever. I promise i will visit you everyday as i can. Thank You for making me who am i today. :)))

MEET MY BEST BUDDY!

last night was pretty awesome. A TOTAL BACHELOR NIGHT, no girls, no GF's just me and my bestfriend. it was after my duty when my best bud, Mark Edward Fernandez, decided to hang out and catch up things. We went to Balay Bistro and there we had some serious conversations, You know, what real adult man talks about. i thought I am only the one who thinks about the future, how it is like in 25 years time, and i forgot that the reason why we became best of friends is because we share the same thoughts and we wanted CHANGE. yeah, we both missed the Old days but Old days were gone, It was fun, and worth remembering, But it's the present time already so we decided to leave all the dramas and must have fun. The conversation was really superb and i, again, looked up to him as HE IS REALLY A CHANGE MAN. We missed hanging out with good old friends, but these friends of ours  also have different dilemma's and everything that they need to deal it with themselves. We both realize that we don't need "Many" to hang-out. We both were drunk and miraculously, we went home safe.

Markyboi tries very very hard surfing :)

so let me tell you something about him.  He was an acquaintance when we were high schools. yeah, we hang-out those days its because My friend Ludife was his girl best friend so we haven't really had a time to know each other. When we were in college and He decided to live with our other friends in one apartment, that's when we became close. I hate him when we were in our teenage years. I thought he was a bipolar.  (haha) there were times he was very happy and delighted, and then there are times that he is upset, throwing things everywhere, breaking the jalousies. I told myself i will never be having any connections with this guy. But i guess, let's say,the world turned over, as we became as close as we didn't imagine.

circle of best friends :)

although we have same thoughts at times, we have different perceptions about anything. We argue a lot of times talking with non- sense things like ano nauna? manok o itlog . haha. He may be seen as a tough guy and a stone-heart person, but when you started talking with him, you will see that he is a Drama king.


Not in a sense that his life is full of dramas like mine, but when he started speaking, you will just shut up cause whatever he said would make a big impact and will make you think and reflect to it. He isn't perfect, Who is? He is not a very super Religious person, Chain Smoker, Alcoholic. But he is the best man no one could imagine.

Edward, as i always call him,  is a dreamer. I remembered when all were picking on him about joining different things like auditioning to  Starstruck, different pageants and fashion shows, modeling (where he often brings something home after), i supported him all the way as he supported me in everything I do. He was sensitive about every one's

feeling. MR. CONGENIALITY? yeah, always. So as i always tell him, Do whatever you want buddy as long as you know that it is good for you cause i believe in you, and i am one of the greatest fan of your life. :)


then there was Melinda. Yes. My Best Bud's Long time Girl Friend. Marky's relationship in the past were all mess. No one deserves Mark, until Melinda came. I admit that i didn't like her at first, and i know they knew it because i am very vocal and frank about it. Melinda, indeed, proven her love to my best friend and tried befriending us. She exerted effort. and i love her. I love her maybe as much as bud do. She was just perfect for my best friend. I may have heard bad, evil things about her, about the past that is still haunting everyone, but who cares about it anyways? My best bud didn't, so what's the point? At times we still have tampuhans, the best part is, we always compromise, cause she is a friend now, not just mark's GF.

Noah Mckenzie B. Fernandez . September 27 2009- December 30 2009

Then Baby Noah McKenzie was born on September 27, 2009. Noah was born with a condition called Gastrochisis, where the intestine abnormally grew out side the abdomen. I rushed in to the hospital and Mark appeared very anxious as his son was, then, undergoing an operation. He was anxious, but he was strong. Noah was in ICU for like a month. he survived the operation and they brought him home. But i guessed God had better plans  that's why on December 30 of the same year, God retrieved our little angel. I crumbled down. It was heart crashing. i have just touched him once and it was hurtful saying goodbye to him. The reason why i was angry at someone who accused me of questioning melinda's moving on. I loved him as much as Mark and Mel loves him. It was devastating. when i thought that they bite that thought of questioning Mel, i was, very, very upset with them. They didn't know how much i have cared for my little Noah. Baby, again, teary- eyed, i want you to know that tito xander love you, please guide your parents, and please guide me too.

Bud brothers. haha

 Now we are all trying to move on with the past. We are. but not totally. So now we enjoyed life at it's fullest. Some may still have wrong choices, Some may still have bad judgment in life but no matter what happens, as long as my best bud is supporting me, as well as my other friends, life can't be bad at all.

Forget you-

I Never idolized such Youtube Artists. Just Now. Voice Quality wise- He has it. The right timbre. Sana ganito ako kagaling mag Guitar. The reason why i am a PROUD FILIPINO.

The Hot Girls I Wanna Mate, Este Meet pala.. hahaha

- Note: Not because i admire these girls means i want my girlfriend to be like them or anything. My girl is just Perfect for me and She's my perfect mate (wink* wink*)


Here are the celebrities i always wonder how they look like in bed..,joke lang. These are the Girls i want to meet.

ANNALYNNE McCORD.
known by her naughty and nice portrayal as "Naomi Clark" in the hit series New Beverly Hills 90210. i don't know if i really like her or i liked her character as Naoimi, but this gorgeous chick has lots to offer. With her natural pouty lips and freakin' body, i always look forward seeing her in her swimsuits..Also watch her in Nip/Tuck as Eden Lord who went to a plastic surgeon to repair her broken hymen because of horse- ridding. you have a dvd of it? please tell me. I wanna See!! :)

ELISHA CUTHBERT
seen in the movies like "The Girl Next Door" and "My Sassy Girl", Elisha is a pretty blonde chick who has this amazing aura that when i see her in the screen i just want to sit down and watch her. I once have a DVD of her movie The girl next door and i have watched it like for the nth time just to stare at her.  

Jessica Stroup
- A.K.A. Erin Silver in the hit series 90210. In the series, Silver is a non socialite person who hated parties and loves watching slasher films, and later found out she has a Bipolar disorder. I liked her because i think her new haircut is hotter than ever. I like girls who take risk and doesn't only relay beautiful as having a long hair. Her facial bones are sexy, like i wanna take a shot of her over and over again. Please see me in my dreams Silver.

KIM KARDASHIAN
"E" Reality Star of "Keeping Up with The Kardashians".. Whoah do i need to elaborate more? What you see is what you get!! :))))

ANNE WARD
America's Next Top Model Cycle 15 winner Ann is my bet since episode 1. This 6'2", super skinny girl have no. 1 best picture 5 weeks in a row, first in the reality model search' history. self proclaimed Awkward and nerdy, Ann proves that she can be best in anything if you love what you do and bring out the best in you. Imagine her walking with me a 5 foot 4 inches man.. That's totally awesome.

 
oh yeah.. GEORGINA WILSON

- Philippines Top Model Georgina- I loved her since She was 17 years old. I saw her way back 2005 in a spread of Cosmopolitan Magazine and i just loved her facial features. Now, She is visible in different Magazines not just in spreads but in Covers, Great VJ in channel V, and guest Judge in a noontime talent show. She was the first one i followed in twitter. and i kept loving her everyday. Georgina, wished i was BorgY! :)

Crazy Messages I can't get over !!

Girl1: Hoy bakit ang pangit mo makatingin??
Girl2: Bakit ikaw, ang pangit mong tignan??
hahahahahahahahaha

 ---------------------------

wife: Mahal, i bilhan mo naman ako ng bagong bra.
husband: Wag ka na magbra, di naman halata maliit naman ang boobs mo..
Wife: EH BAKIT KA NAGBRIBRIEF?
toinks

------------------------
 

STRESS and OOOOVERSTIMULATED @@@@@@@@@@

                                  It was really a stressful week last week. I wasn't able to sleep well at night. Oh crap. My eyebugs darken, my eyeballs are sunken. Sure do have my stress relievers but i guess it just ain't enough. Remember that one of my stress- reliever is FOOD which i can't have much since i am on a diet and it totally stress me out more. I can't just break the chain of the diet because I'm stress right?!? It's totally upsetting.

                                Last 2 weeks were really stressful. My girlfriend bought me a dvd of the second series of 90210 (which i loved already, it kept me missed highschool!). I started watching it on the first day of my off last week, January 25. It was also the first day of my diet. Aside from facebooking and surfing the net, i wasn't able to do a productive thing that day, i just found myself lying in my bed watching the series i was totally hooked with.. Mimicking their lines and how they said it, Imagining their drama to mine and i just didn't realize that it was already 1 am and i need to go to the hospital in AM cause we will be attending a seminar at Sta. Barbara Pangasinan. I wasn't sleepy yet, but what i know is that i can't be absent for tomorrow's event. 

                               at around 4:30 AM of January 26, i stood up to go to the bathroom and  pee. I went back to my bed, checked my watch and seen the time. i alarmed my phone to ring at 5:45 AM so i can have like 75 minutes to sleep. I close my eyes, but i wasn't sleeping at all.. I started Imagining everything and i felt like I'm just waiting for my alarm to ring.. 

                 "Please Don't Stop The Music. Please Don't stop, Please Don't Stop The Music" my alarm goes.  I stood up and felt very very awake. The Seminar will start at 8 AM so i got to be there before 7:30, I went at 7 AM. We arrived at the Seminar at 8AM. It was a straight, didactic, seminar and it ended up at 5:30 pm. It was a long sitting-down for me. and i am so excited to go home. Arriving at Urdaneta, My friend ask where am I, and said just got home. He said gotta pick you up we're going somewhere. I said "OK". I was tired really but i can't say No to this friend of mine. So he went to pick me, i asked him "San tayo punta tol, baka papatulong ka sakin ngayon, pagod talaga ako". He wasn't answering. I was surprise what i just saw. 

               "what the. Another Seminar. Again??? you serious??" It was like an orientation for people who wants to have some business or part-time work by selling make-ups, Herbal meds, and body care. I was so fed up of sitting down, but what am I going to do, I went there, meaning i wanna listen. It was finished at 9:00 PM. (and i think i may like to have that business). I went home and watched the series again but i need to go to work early in AM, so i stopped the player, checked my phone, and WTF, 1:30 AM. haist 

               4AM again, i woke up, and just waiting for the alarm.No chance of having a goodnight sleep. Went to the hospital 6:45 AM. I have 26 patients, My assistant was a new contractual nurse, i have one senior volunteer, and one new volunteer who's kinda pissing me off for the way she speaks to me. I've got a 3 cancer patients, 2 almost going, and i have 2 major operations, and 1 Post-OP to take care at the recovery room. Wasn't it great???

              I went home and i saw my nieces with very dirty clothes, so after caring for other patients at the hospital, it was time to take care of the kids. I did the laundry and I was finished at 9PM. My Dad went home drunk. I started yelling at him cause he is diabetic and that the medicines were purchased thru my money, cause no one will. He is so hard headed and i wished to be in work that time. It was totally absurd. I'm tired. 

                         Next day, January 27, I am for night duty so i thought i could sleep all day. I was wrong, cause at 5:00 AM i was awaken by a bad dream, and i literally watched the sun rise through my window. I get up cause there's really no chance of sleeping. I cooked breakfast and accompanied my niece to her school. My girlfriend came for a visit.. so indeed, We were making "kulitans" as we always do which was really exhausting. Did it add to my stress? No. She's my comfort blanket.. I went back to fetch my niece at 2Pm so could you just imagine how the sun is bursting it's power. whew totally stressing. and went to the hospital at 11PM to work. WORK. it was great that i took some naps in between but it couldn't make me better, I need a break.

                      Surprisingly i have a great sleep from 9AM to 2 PM on January 29. It was my off. When i was about to take a bath, i found out there were no soap, no shampoo. OMG. It's grocery time. I went to the grocery and shop a little bit. I was totally freaking out and kept worrying myself, why am i very very stressed this week?? i need to call my friends, they could help me. I called my friends and went to my dearest friend's crib and have had a great night talking while having some beers on our hand. but still needs to go to work in AM so we cut it off at 12MN. 

                     Drinking that night helped me to have AT LEAST some sleep cause when my phone is alarming, i just thought of throwing it outside through my window. BITIN NA BITIN. Freakin' straining. worked from 7 AM- 3PM. But the good thing this day, It was PAYDAY. yahoo!! so after duty, my girlfriend and I went to the mall to buy stuffs, eat stuffs. It was perfectly awesome but entirely drained. We went home at 9PM and needs to sleep for we will have a staff meeting at 8AM.. I can't sleep so i decided to finish the 3rd season of the series, it ended 1:30, i slept at 2AM and woke at 6AM.

                   Jan. 31. Meeting started at 8AM, done at 9AM. Many of you i guess will ask why shouldn't i take a nap and take advantage of the time to sleep? Well, let's say I'm the kind of person that even how sleepy i am and tired i am, i can't take a nap for two reasons: 1) the sun is up. and 2) when i took a bath already. after doing some household chores, i surfed the net and at 5:30 AM, i called up my friends to have some drinking night. since again i have a work early in the morning, we cut the party at 12MN. 

                 Feb.1, first day of the month. I came to work with a terrible headache. absolutely screwed. My father went to the hospital and have his unhealing wound at foot checked. He has an increased blood pressure and increased blood sugar. When the doctor gave me the prescription, i bought the meds right away. It was Heavy :( heavy to a person who just started having a good salary. half of it will be going to his med. I talked to him sincerely, to commit to the regimen, to listen to me, cause this wasn't a joke. THIS IS THE MOST STRESSED DAY for ME. Aside from My Father having this loadings of medicine, My sister called from Milan, and told me that She and her husband is breaking-up. It was heart-crashing when i hear her voice, almost- crying-but-didn't. I feel for her.

How did i manage all of these??

Simply

SMILING THROUGH EVERYTHING

I always think that i got the whole problem in the world, that I'm always tired and always stress-out.

all of us, at some points of our lives, say "I'm tired". 

We are tired. But we still continue to do the the right thing.

we're still doing the things we are getting tired of because this makes us happy and fulfilled

this makes our personality, this makes our world round. 

as we all know it,after all of these something good will happen.

Remember the song "Hakuna Matata". try singing it when you fell stress..

Make No worries for the rest of the days.

PEOPLE OF MY YEAR 2010

I know its too late to like write things about last year and i know the first month of 2011 is almost over. When I'm browsing some other blogs i also follow, i have read this title. a blog from Bianca Gonzales; and i thought "yeah this is the "write" thing to reminisce 2010". So sorry for stealing your Post title BG. (you wouldn't read this anyway).

President Benigno "NoyNoy" Aquino.
Yes, I voted for the New Aquino. Although he didn't have plans,yet, to run for the presidency, He was motivated by thousands of people who asked him to run. He may have won because of his parents popularity, but he rises on his own ways. So far, i never regret voting for him. cause i believe that he is the most deserving of the position. I still hope on his promises like "Dito lang tayo sa Tuwid na Daan" and " Hindi ako Magnanakaw."

Dr. Ma. Vivian A. Villar
My first ever employer. She is indeed one of the prettiest physician in the entire world. Very hardworking and motivated. She appreciates the work I'm giving and hired me as one of the new contractual of the hospital. I was very delighted cause i thought no one sees my desire and passion of working as a nurse in the hospital. When i was about to leave the Hospital, She posted a comment on my status, and without even said, i hoped and prayed. Thanks to you Dra Inan for those almost-a-hint post and also for that "call". I never regret canceling abroad plans and I am happy working for our hospital and as long as you want me to be there, No reason for me to leave.  

Ms. Mariel Mayo, Ms. Lydia Soriano, Ms. Nelia Baltazar, and Ms. Francisca Rebugio

Mam Mariel- The Hospital's Chief Nurse. The Woman with Authority. I believe She's really an effective leader. Well respected, and well obeyed. I honestly scared of her before. She seems so strict and less humor. yes she was strict, but only at work. She's sensitive to our feelings and listens to our calls. She sees all of us as her sons and daughters and we really feel that we are loved. Thank you Mam Mariel, for giving me a chance to work in our hospital. Thank you for giving me a chance to be appreciated, respected, and loved. Thank You.
Mam Nelia- Our Nurse Supervisor. I was also challenged to impress her cause i thought she never sees me. i idolized her for her passion and love for her work. Thanks Mam Nelia for helping me coped up with my new work. Thank You for trusting me.
Mam Lydia- My cool Mom. I know that when your scolding me, It's for my own. it's to help me bring out the best in Me. One time, We have a fight at home, I held my tears not to fall, but when i saw you in the hospital, my tears burst out.  I never thought i could be close to you as this. It was really relieving when i talk to you about it. Thank you. My 2010 would've dull without your silly thoughts and words. :)
Mam Franz- My Second Mom. She helped me at all aspects. I know that she recommended me to the chief , not because I'm her out-of-blood son, but because she sees my work and she always uplift my spirit, to do good and aim at the best. She was sometimes, out of the mood and may said something hurtful to me, but at the end of the day she would explain. and i thank her for that.

NEW FOUND FRIENDS WORTH KEEPING
Adam Bryan Barte, Nathalie Viernes, Apple Baybayan, Jelly Rose Lapena
These are my new found friends last year. Friends that you can count on and friends that you can confidently say true to you.
Adam was my co-volunteer in the Hospital. He was a silent type of guy who loves partying too. that's why we clicked. and ofcourse, we are both good looking, ika nga birds of the same feathers :) He is also sensitive and very vulnerable. kahit matangkad yan, feeling nya lagi he is nothing. got him my new best friend.

and then There is Nathalie Viernes, or NaTz for short. This crazy little-fair colored- brunette. I used not to like her but as time goes, i got a new friend on her. She was very Entertaining and No dull moment with her. When she and my friend started dating, We become even closer. She even confide something to me when she left the hospital; Thanks tol,  you make me feel im very trusted.

and then there is Francis Marie "Apple" Baybayan- my self- proclaimed cousin. I knew her before because we were sit mates in board exams. We started talking about the roots of my family, and we both guess that we, maybe, our cousins. She was fun to be with and very passionate to work. it was nice meeting you cuz.

and Lastly, My new friend last year, Mrs. Jake Marius Drapiza, Jelly Rose Lapena. She is my bestfriend's girlfriend. finally last year we finally met. (actually it was 2009 when we first met), no more just hi's and hellos and no more"she's an acquaintance" but she's a friend. When a fight rules over this two new friends of mine, it was a challenge for me to be neutral but not hypocrite. They were both my friends, and if they still hate each other, im out of the way.

Ms. Juvy Rose Rosario
Let's just say she's my best friend in the hospital. She was my batch mate entering the hospital. When i was hired, this medium-figured hot chick was the one jumping joy for me.  I know she's proud of me and I am to  her too. No toxic duties if she's my staff. Thanks tol, for being supportive and being understanding. This one i promise, When all  people thinks your crazy, There would be one person who will think that your not crazy but special, That's me. So whatever you decide on to do, be it choosing what you want or what's the best for you, i will always be here to support you.






                                                                ANNA MARGARITA ROMATAN

a total, super freak. i always have a great duty when I'm with her. she's a comic, really really funny. She helped me a lot last year and up to Now. I can say that she is now my friend. Thanks sa lahat ng mga jokes mo na nakakatawa at nakakawala ng sakit ng ulo. Nag iisa ka, freak! :)

ARMAN MEJIA, DOMENG EGIPTO, GERWIN MACARANAS, THEO FERNANDEZ, ALLAN BUTON- My New Found Barkada.

Hindi lahat ng tao nagkakaroon ng pagkakataong maging kaibigan itong mga ito. Hindi lahat ng tao may pagkakataong magkaroon ng kaibigang mas matanda sayo (hehe). Pero masaya ako kapag kasama itong mga to. Parang walang problema. Parang laging Masaya. Salamat sa pag accept sa kin mga kuya. Salamat sa tunay na pagkakaibigan. KAMPAY!!!

And Finally, The BEST GIRLFRIEND in The WORLD.
Ms. Hazel Sahar B. Nievera.

- last year was tough for us. time with each other was limited because of work, but thank you for holding tight. I know that there are moments when you thought i forget you, but i don't and never will. Thank you for staying with me. You are indeed my motivation to work hard and to earn a lot for i wanna give you all the things in the world cause you deserve it. No one Love me the way you Loved me. Don't stop loving me, Cause i won't.