FATE. Believe.

Just when I gave up all the hopes is when all things are falling to its places.

It’s ironic as we say never give up on things that you love. I fought. For the longest time, I did. I tried my best to be the best but maybe the song was really meant for me, my best wasn’t good enough. I got tired of fighting for what should be mine. But maybe I just can’t get everything I wanted.  When I’m expecting so much more than what is only given, that is when frustrations are coming out, depressions, sadness. More upset than usual. More bothered, more worried. Then I gave up. I gave up on all the hopes that I have. I surrendered, as I surrendered everything to God.  But just when I gave up, everything just fell back to places.

For some reasons, I used to believe in fate, destiny, luck, and signs. But after quite some time, I got pessimistic, negative, doubtful. People always say that Destiny is not a matter of chance but a matter of choice, but I negate that. I believed that we can’t control what is destined for us. When something happens, it happens because it was meant to happen. But i didn’t believe that anymore, maybe people are right, we make our own destiny, there is no such “destiny” but choices. So I gave up on the belief of fate and destiny.  But just when I gave up, God just gives me something to believe again.

For some reasons, I believed in fairy tales. Contrary to the people used to think, It’s not Cinderella who was looking for her Prince but Prince is also looking for a Cinderella. I pictured a life with happy ever after. But I gave up on my fairy tale dreams, That not everything will be shining, shimmering, splendid and tales are old as time. I thought I could have it, maybe I would, but I gave up.. but just when I gave up, God gives me something to think that maybe all we need is a whole new world, a dashing place I never knew.

God moves in a mysterious ways.  Surrender to him. Be contented on what we have. And sometimes, it’s not bad to give up, because maybe on giving up, you will see something that is worth fighting for.

There is no Luck. It is all written. This is fate. And I believe in fate. 

the princess and all the craps

Let me start this by admitting that i am old enough to watch this effin series. Yes. This series was not for me. It was meant for the teeny bumper of this generation. 

This was the first, of all honestly, teleserye i have watched every episodes. It's for the reason that i went here in Doha Qatar on April 5. The only thing to do those days was to watch every single television show of ABS, and coincidentally, Princess and I started April 16. From then on, I watched very single episodes online.

This is a total revelation. First, How powerful the Kid's generation these days. A big time production for the Youth. Second, that when you prolonged a show, it will end like shit. 3rd, That a story conference held prior to the show can change.

I am rooting for Jaomik, making me a member of the KathQuenatics fandom. It all started sa pagpapapansin sa twitter. Nakikitrend lang ba? Pero it continued until the good episodes of Jaomik were dismissed. 

It was not the "MIGI" endgame that was depressing. Kahit sa umpisa pa lang naman na nagpakita si Gino, I knew it will be them on the end. The show just missed to enlightened us with some strong points. 

1st, Where is the redemption for Jao? I mean, yes, he said sorry on their 'about wedding' day, but, he still did not believe that Mikay went to wait for her in the bukal. He still believed that it was just a plan so Jao will be captured. Sana naipakita man lang nila na nalaman ni Jao na nagpunta si Mikay sa bulag para mas na-realize nya na mali yung ginagawa nya kay Arreyah. Sana bago sya nagpunta sa Kasal nila ni Mikay, Pinakita nila na nagpunta sya sa bulag, nandun yung origami, natakpan ng bato o putik at dun na realize nya na "Ah, totoo ang sinasabi ni Mikay, nagpunta sya dito". Because if i do remember on an episode where they have confrontation, Mikay said "nagantay ako Jao", but Jao answered "ah, ako nga pala ang di nakarating" in a note that he did not believe Mikay.

Secondly, I hoped that there was a person who explained Jao how devastated Mikay when Jao was forcefully evicted to Yandon. Pwede si Dinoy, si Anand, kahit si Vicky. I remembered nasabi ni Vicky na "ganyan din po si Mikay dati, di makakain" but it stopped there. Jao was still in rage kaya di nya napansin yung sabi ni Vicky. Pero sana uli, bago ang 'about-wedding' nila, May nakakwentuhan si Jao about sa depression ni Mikay, para lalo syang nakonsensya at di nya tinuloy ang kasal. 

Third,  So who ruled Yangdon after? Kahit sabihin natin na nagkaisa ang lahat, Kanluran pa din ang naghari, wala naman representative ang Silangan. Kanluran pa din nanalo. Where was Sivaji? Pumayag kaya sya na ikulong sya? I hoped it was shown that He regrets his decision to betray Anand, ask forgiveness and has been forgiven.

It was crystal clear it would be MIGI in the end. But it was depressing, how it started so strong and ended very weak, very weak that you can't even compare the ending to "Walang Hanggan". It would have been justified kung sana isang taga Silangan nalang ang namuno sa huli, then Gino and Mikay left the thrown for Jao and lived a simple life. ever after. 

How should it ended?

for me, aside from the things i mentioned. It should have been a confrontation in a dramatic scene (of course after all the craps of barilan, baliwan). Because until the last time before he was gun shot, Jao was portrayed the bad guy. He was not given a chance to explain.

Jao should have confessed that He all did this to protect her from the queen. Para di sya magalaw ni Ashi kasi lagi nya sya kasama. Jao would then ask Mikay if the latter still loves him. And Mikay will answer

"Mahal kita Jao, Minahal kita. Pero mas Mahal ko na si Gino. Parati ka paring asa puso ko Jao". then Jao decided to become a monk, and MiGi got married. 

I hungered for a better MiGi ending (even i'm purely kathquenatics). Sayang talaga. Sayang.

JEPOY-RUTH 2013

I know i promise to record a video message, but every time i would try, I get teary- eyed. I will make this short.promise.

Do you believe in a saying that when a person destined to you or to your love ones, in just a single sight you will know that "This is it?". When i first met Jepoy, I didn't think that he would marry my best friend. (seriously). He reminded me so much of our friend's brother who is a womanizer. But after they celebrated their 6 month, I knew that they were destined. Surely it wasn't in a single sight, yet today, January 12, 2013, they are actually getting married.

Ruth has this personality that when she is focused on something, everything in the background fades away. When they started dating, I was scared, scared that it would happen again. I don't want to elaborate but Ruth and I didn't talk for almost 2 years.. and now, It might happen again,i thought, but it didn't. Maybe because we both are in a relationship?haha No. let's just say, Ruth made an effort to let us know that it wouldn't happen, never again.

Ruth has TRUST issues. She is my best friend, but believe it or not, She don't open everything to me. She don't trust easily on someone. so if she has your trust, you are lucky. She may not say a thing, she may think i don't know, but i knew everything. I want her to know that it is okay to trust again.

and for a record,contrary on what i thought of Jepoy, Ruth never cried to me over cheating issues. He was definitely inlove with my best friend.



******The Best Friend's Message.

if there is someone dying to be there right now, you know that it would be me! I know when i went here, I will miss a lot of things on your life, but i never thought i would miss this :(

When you told me you were pregnant, you've seen me burst on tears. It was tears of joy, of course. It's just that I have just imagined you and me dealing with this pregnancy together, like what we use to on all things. I have planned to not miss my best friend's wedding. Of all the friends i have, you were the only one, who saw me when i was invisible. You loved me when everyone hated me. That's why i get emotional every time when speaking about you. I may not say this to you a lot nung nandyan ako, but i want you to know, that I love you, and i will always be here for you!

ANG DRAMA. SHET. Enough.

Pareng Jepoy,

Alam mo naman na maswerte ka sa kaibigan ko diba? hehe Seryoso nga. Maganda, Mabait, Maalaga sa sarili, maalaga sa ibang tao, totoong tao, masarap kausap, mabango, masunurin, marunong mag give way, malambing.........maluho,matakaw,maingay, malakas tumawa,pikon, antokin, at higit sa lahat MAARTE.

Sa lahat ng characteristic nya, Salamat pare at kinaya mo ang kaartehan nya. Hindi ko alam kung paano mo nagawa, hahaha kung hindi sya maarte sayo, ngayong mag-asawa na kayo baka lumabas na ang kaartehan nya. hihi Maarte lang naman sya sa amoy, ayaw nya ng mabaho madumi, maingay sa umaga pero sa pagkain, walang hihindian yan.

Di nga, seryoso na. hehe Thank you, because of all my girl friends, Ruth was the only one who never cried on me about you. wala akong narinig na kahit ano (o di naman kaya kasi alam nya na kakampihan kita tulad ng pagkampi ko sa mga boyfriends nila?).haha seriously Salamat. It was easy leaving her because i know that you were there.

Ruth Ann,

I've seen how you loved your parents, how you loved jepoy, how you loved your friends, and I feel how you loved me, I know that you will be a great mother. Please always take care of yourself, and don't make anything stupid without me. Whenever you feel alone, You can always send me a message. Im 24-hour online. Always remember to give time for yourself. I know how much personal space is important to you, now, it will all be different. Always pray for guidance and strength. Pakatatag kayo sa mga pagsubok. Mahal ko kayo, alam nyo yan. and always remember the song you picked for me, I'm giving it back to you.

"Count on me, through thick and thin, a friendship that will never end. When you are weak, I will be strong, helping you to carry on, Hold my hand,i will be there, don't be afraid. Please believe me when i say just count on me.."

Best friend Forever,

Xander.



PS.

To follow ang gift promise!! See you soon!