The New Year's Resolution i hope i can do.

One of the Highlights before the year ends is the "new year's resolution" thing. This is - writing and listing all the things you wanna change to yourself, things you would do next year, and things you will do to upgrade yourself.

I never did any resolution list before. Pero masubukan nga lang. Malay mo diba? hehe

Next Year I promise to...

1) Loose Weight up to 15 Kilos. I'm 70 kilos now, so I must loose some fats until i reach 55 kgs. Whew! that' Hard...

2) I will stop criticizing how people Dress, their fashion statement... That's so me, but i need to change.

3) I will get whiter..i promise :)

4) I will stop being evil.. and i will stop plotting evil with Hazel and Ruth. hooo!! mga bad influence! :)

5) I will build some muscle in my biceps..

that's so impossible to do.. I know. Right? kaya erase mga yan.

Eto totoo..  Next Year...

1) I will eat whatever i want basta balance sa meat and veggies

2). I will continue to criticize people on the way they style themselves. This way, I'm helping :)

3) I will continue being evil, because the world needs mean person. Parang eco-life lang yan, one helps the other.

4) i will not build up muscles on purpose, hayaan na ang pag bubuhat ng patient at pag tutulak ng wheel chair do the thing.

5) I will try my best to Get hired. I wont be Absent or Late to whatever schedule i may be.

Doing Resolutions should be Realistic. Not idealistic. Resolutions are just a reflection of what you can, and cant do next year. So why go to the Hardest Part when you can stay calm and Relax.. ayyt?

I love you Mckenzie Noah.. Goodbye..

December 28 2009 at around 12 PM- while i was browsing the net and looking at my old pictures, I was stuck staring with this picture. I cant distinguish if this is my Neice Zsantal, or my Nephew Noah. Then i saw his eyes, and said " ay kay Melinda to". He was a good looking boy indeed, No wonder why his name was formulated. (MC meaning "son of"- KENZIE "handsome"). Mark Edward is my BestBud,. I've known him to have a great, strong personality and a brave one. 1 PM that day, a friend texted me and said "tol wala na man na raw si Noah". I was shocked and i was like "hindi yun totoo, may raw naman eh,". I was really in denial, because i am sure that HE is ok. but i was wrong, totally wrong. It was heart-crashing when i found out that our boy, Mckenzie Noah B. Fernandez, just passed away with all of us left clueless why.

Our berks planned to go to Bud's place. While we were on our way, i was silent. I am nervous. I am teary-eyed. The moment we arrived at his place, a lighted trunk of a tree struck our eyes. The usual thing people does when someone just passed away. I saw Mark through their window, Holding his tears back. I took the courage to asked my friends to enter the house.  I am strong, I should be. I should not let them see me sympathizing with them cause it's non- therapeutic. I entered the house and went to Bud., He hugged me so tight and cried. I broke down, i shouldn't be but i did. Mark hugged me like a kid telling me "im hurt" like what my nieces do. I withdrawn, and turn my back out of bud's sight. i was hell crying in one side of their house. I just cant take it, looking unto Mark, regressing to the lost of his child.  i cant hug Melinda that time because if i did, i wouldn't stop crying.

We stayed there waiting for Noah's body from the funeral. I can still hear Melinda crying. And Ruth said, She's lullabying while crying. I am so worried for Melinda, because She just gave birth and she's a total candidate for Post-Partum Depression,if not Post Partum Psyche. We were there when Noah was delivered to earth. We were also there when He's fighting for his life. We were there until the last time he's out of the coffin.

It's sad to think that He was able to survive his operation, He was strong to fight his condition back. i know that those two are Blaming themselves. and that Doubting the Love of God for them. Well, guys, its Normal. they are in the stage of grief cold Denial, and Anger. kung iisipin bakit pa nga ba binigyan sila ng 3 months tas kukunin din. But i hope, in time, that they will be realized to thank God for allowing us to have him for a while, i know how it hurts them, But The Hurt Cannot be Equated to the Happiness they Felt when Noah is still alive.

Baby Mckenzie, buloy, anak. if your seeing me right now, crying while typing.. hope you felt the love i had for you. I love you, even before i saw you. I am thankful that even for a while you made us all happy. Unting oras lang yun pero ok na. i remember when you need blood and i was the only one compatible to yours, i really wanted to give you mine, but i was drunk that night. I knew, anyways, that you can make it. And you did. This time, you were gone so sudden, We didn't even realized. I will always remember you, your name, your first picture, your cry. Bye for now Mckenzie Noah.. See you soon..

2009: Best Year So Far!

This is a year end Blog.:)



2009 was the best year so far, at least for me. I have asked many things from the Lord God and thankfully he grant all of those. I graduated my bachelor's degree in Nursing this year, and i was so happy because not all of us can finish a course. Education for me is very important because this is the only thing that makes me different from others. i am not rich, we are not. But i am proud i can be said "Educated", rich or educated? sa educated na ko. :) i am also happy for my brother Rex for graduating his Bachelor's Degree in Computer Engineering. at last, for like 7 years? whew! laking ginhawa nito kay Mom. I hope so. :)

this year also, My father was released from Jail and proven innocent by the judge. Remember that my Father was imprisoned last 2008 for allegedly Drug pushing, but after a year of agony my father was released. We wanted to file a counter case to the arresting officers but we thought that we were already fed up by hearings and lawyers etc. We just learned a lesson.. THAT THOSE WHO SAYS CAN PROTECT US ALWAYS, CAN NEVER PROTECT US INDEED.

This Year, the same year as i graduated, i became a REGISTERED NURSE. sabi ko nga, The Fact that i finished college is something that i can brag to everyone, ETO pa kayang pagiging isa kong ganap na NURSE? i was so delighted and overwhelmed with my blessings this year! i was always been doubted not to pass the exam, but hello?? hehe Bragging my title was OFFENSIVE (daw) for a certain person. She wrote something to my wall in FB saying " Dapat maging rich ka bago mo ipagsigawan na RN ka" at first i was really surprised and nearly pissed off. but then i ended up laughing.. HAHAHAH.. can you imagine that? SOMEONE WHO IS, SAID TO BE RICH, told me i should be rich first before i'll brag my being a RN. Stupidity ey? I know right. kaya nga hindi ko nalang pinatulan because hello, like what i've said i am not rich but i am EDUCATED, ahem a LICENSED EDUCATED. haha ang ingetera mamatay na :)


this year, Hazel and I celebrated our 3rd year anniversary. Akalain mo yun, nakatgal ako sakanya, haha. like what i've said to her, i still feel the same way i feel the first time we've met. And i kept loving her everyday. :)

This year, My ate Px went home for a vacation. for that 40 day vacation i felt is so enough to fulfill those times she was not here. kaysa sa wala diba? and she said she's getting married. yipee..

This year i entered the hospital as a Volunteer Nurse. It was really tiring. Patients were annoying indeed. but the good thing is that, i learn something very helpful every day. i met new friends who were Nurses like me, and they were all nice. It was tiring but tiring as in " ok lang" not tiring as in "AYOKO NA".


God gave me all a person can ask for. family, Friends, Career, Love ones. Who could not be happy for me. I got a perfect life living. I got perfect Friends who's helping me out. i had a great family. I have the best girl in the world. I have the career i longed to have. whew! thank you Lord Christ Almighty. Without you im Nothing.

Next year, all im asking is to get hired. LORD please.. one last time. hehe


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.. and a BEAUTIFUL and WARMNESS New Year!